Of mice and men

One of the perks to living in a tropical place is the abundance of roaches and spiders and various other assorted critters. Last night, I had the pleasure (no sarcasm really; it was an awesome man moment) of dispatching of a rat.

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It all started a few days ago. We (the girls and I) were sitting around gossiping about the students, comparing war stories, when one of them suddenly shrieked. MOUSE!!! I jumped up, ran over to my apartment and grabbed my machete. A great commotion followed as couches, tables, and refrigerators were thrown asunder while I in hot pursuit chopped wildly at the enemy. That night, he managed to escape the mighty claws of death. But I am a foe not easily discouraged. Night after night I kept careful vigil out of the corner of my eye during movies, conversations, meals, etc. From time to time a small grey nose would appear then dart into cover before I could eviscerate him. My nemesis was mocking me.

Then last night, he slipped up. I was halfway through my movie when I saw him dart behind the fridge which is located in a corner. I knew I had him. I carefully arranged a series of roadblocks which rivaled the trickiest of mall parking lot exits in an effort to keep him at hand, should he manage to make the short trip from the fridge to the wall safely. I wanted him out in the open.

Then, I waited.

Like a sniper, like a trap door spider, like a stalking butler I waited. Spear (mop handle) in hand, poised to strike. My muscles were taut. My eyes (all 1 1/2 of them) were keen. My heart was thumping wildly. I waited. And waited. So long I thought I would die. I began to wonder if somehow in the excitement he had slipped out unnoticed.

Then.

Whiskers. I held my breath, perfectly still- waiting for that perfect shot. He came out, I struck. Miss. He retreated. I regained my composure. And waited. Minutes passed. Again he ventured out. This time, I waited until he was clear of the fridge before striking and when I did, BAMSQUEEKSQUEEKSQUEEEEK! My heart was filled with gladness! I held the spear in place and bent down to look closer at my prey and ALAS!

Gone.

He had slipped out.

I drearily went back to my watch. However, instead of the same mouse coming out, wonder of wonders, in my periferal vision I see another, LARGER rat run under the ridge! This was more than I could have asked for! Filled with a new strength and vigor, I assumed my striking position. He would ever-so-tantalizingly poke out his nose, but then retreat. I brought in the reinforcements- bombed the underside of the fridge with RAID. More waiting. More jostling of the fridge. More waiting. Literally it seemed like forever (about an hour and a half had passed since the first contact).

Then the money shot.

The big rat.

I struck like a message from the gods. No mercy. Such an eruption of squeaking and scratching (on the rats part) and primal screams of victory (on my part) erupted as to wake the dead. I trapped him up against the corner of the wall. My strength was crushing! He was fading fast. As one final death-blow, I filled his gaping maw with a heavy handed blast of RAID and slowly the life went from him.

I sat down, shaking, gasping for breath from the struggle. One had triumphed, one had tasted the bitter wine of defeat.

I gloated for a while, basking in my glory.. His limp soggy rat body hoping to serve as bait for his wily companion; but after another several minutes of no sound and no activity, I concluded that the initial wound and repeated doses of RAID had done the trick.

I bid the womenfolk goodnight, they paid me with kisses and song (hey a guy can dream, can't he??), and I went home to bed.

I slept like a baby.